FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lay Off The Person Who Laid You Off With New Service From JibberJobber
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (April 1, 2011) – JibberJobber.com, the ridiculously popular job search organizer, has announced the much-anticipated new service called the Layoff Your Old Boss Service. Job seekers who are miffed that they were let go, instead of their more deserving ex-colleagues who worked less than they did, simply submit information in a form, including the date they were laid off, what they did before they were laid off, and which boss(es) they want JibberJobber to lay off.
“I just submitted the names of bosses from my last three companies so they can get laid off! I’m so excited about this new service and will recommend it to anyone I meet who is out of work!” exclaimed Janet Schlosky, an IT project manager who has been out of work for more than seven months. “One of them just emailed me to connect on LinkedIn, and said he isn’t with the company anymore! What a blessed service!”
When a job seeker submits the form, JibberJobber searches LinkedIn to find the managers at the company and, using a pending patent-pending algorithm, determines if just the old boss should be terminated, or their superiors should also be terminated.
JibberJobber sends a special package to your old boss(es) with their layoff notice and a professionally designed Pink Slip. The Pink Slip makes it clear the layoff is effective immediately. Instructions in the package direct the newly terminated boss to leave their badge and keys at the front desk, pack their things during lunch, and quietly sneak out of the office to avoid shame.
The package documentation makes it clear this is not a personal decision, but a business decision, and the company is sure they’ll do well in their future endeavors. There is also a canned, impersonal statement apologizing that no one at the company will be able to write them a letter of recommendation, or a give them a LinkedIn Recommendation, because the HR policies strictly forbid it. Every document includes a replica of a real signature.
For an additional fee you can have JibberJobber send two bouncer-looking people to escort the boss out of the office in what is known as “the walk of shame.” You can also pay to send lay off notices to an entire group of managers, scheduled so they all get the news at the same time.
To lay off your ex-boss, simply login to your JibberJobber account and look for the Lay Off My ex-Boss link.
Jason Alba, CEO of JibberJobber.com, stated “we really didn’t want to be in the business of laying people off, although it makes sense. We’re hopeful a good majority of the people we layoff with this new service will end up using JibberJobber in their job search.” Alba said many of the laid-off bosses are actually grateful for their pink slip, saying “they were probably working in toxic, dead-end environments anyway. Seriously, haven’t you seen the stats on how satisfied the average worker is at their job? Not very satisfied!”
John James, an ex-boss who was recently given the layoff notice by the person he let go a few months earlier, mentioned, with tears in his eyes, “I’m not sure what I’m going to tell my kids. They were expecting me to pay for college, but now I don’t know how I’m going to pay for our next meal out.” James indicated he was glad to leave such an unrewarding role at his company, and looked forward to his job search, which he was sure would be short and smooth. With a whimper he said “I just don’t know how they picked me. I’ve always felt the company was going to take care of me, since I spent my days and nights thinking about, and taking care of, the company.”
The new service launches today and will surely be a popular show of reciprocity.
JibberJobber.com launched in May of 2006, far enough away from from April Fools day to be taken seriously. Since inception JibberJobber has helped tens of thousands of job seekers navigate the complex job search with job search organizer tools and advice and support. To find out more visit JibberJobber.com, or register for the next user webinar to see how the software can make your job search less stressful.
Jason Alba, Media Relations