Early in my marriage a word took on a new meaning: Risk.
Risking, in a close relationship, means that you might do or say something, or share something, that could be disregarded. It could be hurtful to open up and share.
Since I learned about “risking,” and get to practice it regularly, I’ve found it applies everywhere.
In a job search we are in a vulnerable position where we get to risk all the time.
We put ourselves out there a lot. We open ourselves up to criticism. We get to a point where we think people are talking about us, and probably say similar things to the negative self-talk we feed ourselves.
In reality, people talk about us far less than we think, but we still can feel very vulnerable. When you feel like a loser (lost your job, can’t get a new one, lost in the resume black hole) it’s easy to think that everyone is talking bad about you.
What I’ve learned is that we must continue forward. Many times this means we must continue to “risk.”
Share what your needs are. Share what you would like. Ask for favors. Accept favors that people give you.
Sometimes things won’t work out. People will say no. Mean or unstable people might tell you why.
But don’t let that get in your way. Risk, share, and get yourself in a better place.
The alternative is to be quite passive, and take what comes to you.
What I learned in my job search, and as a business owner, is that what I can go get is much better than what I passively wait for.