In the last month I’ve received many messages from people. Most of them are very pleasant, kind, thankful, excited, etc.
A small handful of them are impatient, obnoxious, blaming, mad, finger-pointing, entitled, etc.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: I am ALWAYS judging you, wondering if you would make a great fit for my company, or for an introduction to one of my contacts.
I’ll let you in on another little secret: Everyone else is always judging you, too.
You are being judged. Stereotyped, if you will.
If you are obnoxious (or any of those bad correlations), the people judging you (interviewing you, meeting you at a network event, seeing your writings online, etc.) will not want to do anything with you. They’ll be hard-pressed to help you.
You haven’t sold them on YOU yet.
However, if you are pleasant (or any of those nice correlations), people will want to be around you. They will be open to introducing you, referring you, helping you, etc.
I know the job search sucks. I know, from personal experience, that toxic attitudes can seep in by surprise, and can sour your effectiveness. Read how I learned the hard way: I Smell Blood
Please, develop the skill of being less obnoxious and more pleasant. It will be a skill that will help you the rest of your life.