I wrote about my own dark side at Depression Clouds Everything.
I also wrote about losing your identity (and other things) at I Lost More Than My Job 2 Years Ago.
Here’s input from Jeff, who left a comment on the I Lost More… post:
I lost most of what you lost and a large portion of my feeling of self worth as it drug on.
The first big change came when closely after my father passed I lost my job.
I gained a HUGE chip on my shoulder, feelings of anger, resentment, disillusionment and resounding pride… yeah pride.
When you should be humbling yourself to refocus and see whats wrong inside I went into the blame and criticize zone. It was everyone else and their companies I saw flaws with. It stunk!
I spent weeks and months determined to show them they were all stupid and wrong. What did that invested time, energy, anger and freustration get me?
NOTHING, in fact its almost cost me my marriage, my name, my friends, my family and my faith.
How did I let this govern my life? There were so many more things to be thankful for and so many things to focus my energy on while I was looking but instead I chose to self destruct.
My advice to all: DON’T GO THERE!
Go HERE:
Work hard at truly building every relationship you can. You will find an opportunity, and sometimes in the least likely places.
Do things for the benefit of others too. You’re struggling but serving will calm your mind and build relationships with those that could become your next coworker, employer or employee…
… Its amazingly frustrating how so many woes of society right now are directly linked to this (crime, divorce, abuse etc…).
It’s a hard lesson to learn. Unfortunately, based on how job seekers are still treated today, many people have yet to learn this lesson.
Thanks for sharing Jeff.
For me, it was a little less than 1-1/2 years ago. I did have three months of contract work this summer.
I believe what made it doubly tough was that a number of people held on tighter to what they have because of job fears and insecurity. Instead of supporting, they were protecting themselves. Thus it was very easy to feel like we were/are going at it all alone.
I’ve decided to live my life. I’m volunteering within the community–at my place of worship, at my child’s school, mentoring other people going through the same thing as me. I’ve begun a blog and am exploring social networking.
I keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities and have announced myself as Judah Flum, Community Enterprises. This bright Monday morning, I’m committed to reaching out to business professionals in my community and will be promoting what I view as a very unique combination of skills.
I’ve embraced my faith, am thankful for all that I have and remain both positive and hopeful.
Yes, there is a dark side but not going there is the best option. Seek out every positive influence and experience whether that is bettering your physical health (a pair of walking shoes or running shoes is not that expensive) and feel the positive response in your body to being taken care of. Exercise is one of the best antidotes to any form of depression too.
If people you meet are negative or avoid you (it is almost as if they think it will ‘rub off’ on them) find some new friends. People who are with us in good times and bad are true friends.
No matter what you did before there is always some way you an contribute to the welfare of others. Teach yourself a new skill to stimulate your mind. Have you ever tried writing with your opposite hand? Read a book you might not have read before. Libraries are everywhere. Seek out job groups of all kinds and participate.
Volunteer with people or animals…the very old and the very young can always use more attention and the four legged creatures in your community are eager to please! Visit every free event you might like and make it the highlight of your week, your reward for keeping on keeping on! Most of all stay in touch with the positive people in your life. They are God’s angels among us.
I referred to your blog: https://victoree.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/shapeshifter-sense-of-identity-and-job-loss/
Praying forward that your visit among us at McLean Bible Church Career Network Ministry in November will be a true blessing.