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Sorry about last week’s Giveaway (I skipped it!). Here’s the question for this week:
WHY do we (in general) HATE networking?
Leave your answer in the blog post (not on Facebook) I’ll have Tom Dezell, author of the book Networking for the Novice, Nervous or Naive Job Seeker choose the best answer. This is open until the next Giveaway (next Monday).
You can find Tom’s book on Amazon here, or check out his book website, or his awesome new blog here. Check out this very cool post by Eve Tahmincioglu (Career Diva) where she interviews Tom (Wussy networkers don’t get the job).
Because people don’t understand what networking is. They perceive networking as “what can I get for me” and therefore get disappointed and don’t try again. When in fact the purpose of network should come from a place of genuine interest in others and a desire to help others using your own strengths. It should come from an unselfish place and make … See Moreyourself feel good. Instead, most people “target” people they think can help them and get disappointed when the can’t or don’t want to.
To network successfully and consistently, to ENJOY it, involves giving of yourself to others and seeking to help others. If you don’t go into it with that perspective, you will always be disappointed.
At the heart of it, people hate networking because they’re insecure. They are worried they’ll say something stupid…that there is spinach in their teeth…that there’s a spot on their tie/shirt/blouse…that they won’t do a good job with their elevator speech or pitching what makes them different…or that the other person will ask them for something they can’t give (and that will make them feel guilty).
Why else? Because we worry that we’ll blank on the person’s first name…or that we won’t remember after the fact what we promised to give which person…or that someone who’s less competent but cuter/better looking or articulate will get the job that was perfect for them (if you watch Survivor, Randy explained it perfectly talking about one of his team members).
There are probably many more reasons, but listing these has led me to decide to go curl up in the corner and be catatonic.
Best wishes…
Peter
Bulldog Simplicity blog: http://www.tinyurl.com/bulldogsimplicity
Any extra room in the corner, Peter?
I think part of why we hate networking is the insecurity Peter describes so well. Another part, maybe, is another side of what Maura speaks of: we shrink from it because we perceive it as using others for our own advantage, and we don’t want to be seen, or see ourselves, in that way.
We hate networking because somebody might find out we wear regular underwear beneath our superheorine costume. We’re afraid that being ourselves is not good enough.
Thanks so much to Mauro, Peter, Rich and Edia for their comments. When Job seekers discuss how they feel the process is potentially embarrassing, I always point out that most of us never perceive a job seeker networking the way we worry people will perceive us. Why are we so hard on ourselves this way.
In a tough selection, I’ll select Mauro’s as the top response. She hits the heart a main reason people hate networking-they don’t understand it. This stems from the fact that many only do it when we have to search for a job and abandon it once we settle into our next job. As Mauro points out, it’s about building long term mutually beneficial relationships.
Thanks again to Jason for allowing me to provide a Monday giveaway and Mauro please email me how I can send you your copy.
Tom Dezell
tom@yournetworkingguide.com