I don’t consider myself emotionally unhealthy. In fact, with the exception of dealing with a big car accident when I was 17, I feel like I’ve either been in control of my life, or very comfortable with what has happening. I don’t think that I have suffered from anxiety or depression or similar things, although I’m close to people who have and know that it’s real and serious.
I have a high locus of control, which means I believe I have a significant impact on things that happen to me (career success, family success, etc.).
But, when I started my job search there were two major things going on.
First, I was managing and coordinating all of the logistics that go into a job search. There are a ton… from getting a resume together to getting it out, prepping for interviews, dressing right, networking, researching, etc. These are all mechanical things, things that you can get coached on from the “do these 10 things and you’ll land a job” lists.
In fact, they are so mechanical that you can easily define what needs to be done, how to do it, and figure out what tweaks are required because of your needs. You can come up with checklists and plans, and it’s all good… or it would seem to be all good.
This is all good news for someone with a high locus of control. But even when you have a high locus of control, depression clouds everything.
The second thing that was happening all of the emotional stuff happening. You see, I was on top of the world… I was the general manager of my company, on the board of directors, accomplished in school and feeling pretty good about myself.
Depression Clouds Everything Especially with Life Hitting Us from Every Which Way
And then I became a “job seeker.” This is the person that won’t get a call back, or an e-mail reply, from anyone. The job seeker is the person who tries to get interviews so that you can see just how great they are, and what value they’ll bring to your company… but they get nowhere. The job seeker is the guy who lost an income, but still has bills to pay.
When I first lost my job I remember reading an article on MSN – it was about a guy in Korea that lost his job, went to the zoo, entered an animal’s area, and climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. Can you imagine what it takes for a professional to end up in a tree at the zoo, and then on international news? “At least,” I thought, “I’m not there.”
But day after day, the rejection, the self-doubt, all the bad stuff that happens when your world is turned upside down, the emotions where clouding things. Judgment was clouded because I was desperate. And, depression clouds everything
Performance was clouded because I was scared. I certainly wasn’t used to dealing with these emotions, especially week after week.
It was also somewhat depressing to go to network meetings with professionals in transition who were going through similar things. I was pretty amazed that I met people who were in the same laid-off boat I was, who were much more accomplished than me. Would this never end?? I didn’t want to be in this situation regularly!
Depression Clouds Everything Even How We Would Normally Think
I dealt with it (by ignoring it). But I knew that others weren’t dealing with it there.
A few weeks ago I was at lunch with a good friend that I met during my job search. He had a very similar story to mine, a fast-paced career, good money, big titles and responsibility, and then he got cut out because of lame corporate politics. We got on the subject of emotions, and I said that this was the most surprising aspect of a job search for me, and I asked him if he dealt with negative emotions.
Since I had met him I knew him to be composed… I didn’t imagine that he dealt with them.
His reply was shocking: “Jason, it got to the point where I asked myself if it was the wrists or the neck.”
I was speechless. This was a big part of why I needed to write this Depression Clouds Everything post.
For those of you who haven’t been jobless yet, thinking that you give 110% to your company and they’ll take care of you, mark my words, the emotional aspect of a job search, no matter what your locus of control is, may be the most surprising, derailing thing you have to deal with in your job search.
The Enemy of Depression Is Hope
I’m updating this post in 2022. I want to preserve much of the original post since it resonated so much with people, and because it is a snapshot of where I was in my growth journey.
Years after I wrote this Depression Clouds Everything post I met Dick Bolles in person. I was fortunate to get some time with him at a restaurant. It was, I can say, life changing. Please read this post about that lunch, and why it impacted me.
I’m not going to say that understanding options, or having more hope, will eliminate depression. That would be too simplistic. But I know that having options, having something to hope for, can change how you feel and think. I went through that. Options found me, my hope went from zero to a hundred, and depression melted away. You can’t force this on anyone, or yourself, but it’s an awesome dynamic that might help.
I’m not sure if I’ll get comments on this post, Depression Clouds Everything, or not… but it is a serious issue. If you have anything you feel comfortable sharing, leave a comment.
anyone out there
Dana
Dana, we’re here.
cool
Dana
WOW- it is the recesion “obviously” that is causing many posters to be able to obtained “gainfull” employment. As in the recession of the early 1990’s – yeah this one is way worse- people surived by takng p/t jobs within their field or outside their field. AND that means $10/00 or less p/t jobs.
Survival is of the upmost importance. I , having done it before, seeked p/t job outside of my field [for me it was usually telemarketing] to survive. AGAIN- as I have said, it gives structure to your day, a paycheck, and extends unemployment benefits. Exercise ,
The loss of structure to your day is bad – a p/t job puts routine in your day- have to get ready for work…This is going to be the year of change in your jobs- in order to survive- you may find yourself making same money you did 10 years ago- NAme of game is to make money, even little money- get to as many job fairs you can find…..Good luck. P.S. go see your M.D. during this time of instabiity.
correction: recession causing people NOT to be able gainful employment.
DEPRESSION does cloud everytning. Your thinking – first .
The author of this blog speakes of how he was “functionaly” ready for the attact on getting a new job – then talks about the “emotion rollercoaster” which one is not prepared for – no book for that.
I tell you- the best ways I have always survied is (1) exercise, get those endorpines goiing. I say worry when you cannot even get of the thouse for an 1 hour AND do it , even if you think you should be job searching. Combine the two.
The emotional rollercoaster is about two things: (1) being unemployed, no structure, no money, shuned from society, etc. and (2) the roller coaster ride of emotions. That is where exercise comes in. IT gets you out of your head.
In todays dang recession- WOW – survival is the key. Get to as many JOb Fairs as possible – sounds like a drag. I know. Combine that with exercise, getting dressed like you are getting to work, and handing a RESUEME formated for todays “skill market” world.
Key -keep o moving. Easier said than done. If youir frinnds notice you are sririing downward – that is a plus – you are being put on notice. In a positive statement.
Aditionally, re-vamp yur resume to todays market. Yeah what does that mean. Comapny’s are “scanning”for specfic words in the resume tha tfit the job descpiption. All other go into the trash can.
Get a p/t job to entend your benefits. READ the booklet to undrstand how that works.
In just a few days, I will have been unemployed for an entire year. This has never happened to me before. I am quite depressed, and have given up. I have neighbors and friends who are over age 70 (one is 76) and are still working even though they don’t need to. This makes me angry. It’s not fair. I’ve given up and have stopped looking. I just don’t care anymore. What’s the point? School is not even an option. I don’t have the money, and there is no guarantee of a job if I did get some frickin’ degree, and I just don’t have the motivation nor the energy to concentrate nor any idea what I’d do. Employers are choosing to hire senior citizens and college students because they don’t need the benefits over someone middle aged who needs to work. I just don’t care anymore. The exercise and the B-complex vitamins don’t work.
Hi Smoriah,
Just wanted to write in and let you know there’s somebody out here reading, if not, posting often. I’m sorry it’s been so long for you and I can relate. I’ve thought about all those same things you posted: about school, etc., myself. It’s hard, after you’ve reached one level, to think about competing with youngsters and starting all over again at entry level. What is your field? Have you looked for anything part-time at least?
Just wanted you to know: you’re not alone.
I’m here too Smoriah! For me the key is finding one little victory and building on that to get out of my darkest days… I try not to think about the competition anymore… just what value I can bring to a comapny or even an industry (if it’s a really good day and I can think that broadly) but some days I can only focus on a creative salad for lunch.
You are not alone and I encourage you to reach out to groups on Yahoo and LinkedIn.. both in your field and your area to find Face 2 Face job seeking groups and out of the way online places where jobs are posted.
Thanks Linda and Nancy. I’ve done retail, medical records, library work. Other than that I have no special skills. I’m doubting my abilities to even function at a job anymore. Yes, I’ve considered and looked into part-time, but like I said, the part-time positions go to 70+ and to high school and college students. On Career Builders there’s nothing for which I’m qualified. I have no idea what I want my next “career” to be. Nothing seems viable anymore.
Smoriah
There is nothing that i can say to make it better. Since you been out of work for a year try to apply for SSD. If you have been geting treatment for depression and taking meds you should apply. It takes 6 months to 3 years. Maybe you’ll ger lucky and be approved on the first try.
Unlucky7
I read your story ….what a nightmare. Maybe you can help Smoriah with SSD.
Linda
Glad to see you are back online. i hope the move to your sister’s house went well and you are adjusting ok.
As for me I am still unemployed with no hope of finding any. I sorta gave up too. Strange ever since I did i kinda feel better. I don’t have the burden of worrying about it anymore. When the time comes and when I feel like I can work I need to move to where the work is.
Dana
Dana,
Glad to see you back. I was ready to send out a search crew! LOL
I see you’re making it and maybe it’s good to get away from the search for awhile; come back when you feel like it.
I am adjusting, thanks. I have good and bad days. Some days I don’t feel like getting out of bed, but there’s a dog here that won’t let me sleep in….lol She will cry outside my bedroom door until I get up! Who needs an alarm clock? lol
Life goes on. I’m having success at the job I do have…the part timer, and that helps a little on the self-esteem front. I look for jobs, but there’s not so many listed right now. To fill the void I clean. I try to do ONE THING productive each day even if it’s just scrubbing tile or woodwork. Clean surroundings make me feel better.
One thing that is helping me is I’m eating better. Frozen veggies are cheap and I look for fruits that are on sale and I’m trying to get as many nutrients for the buck as possible; oatmeal is cheap; frozen chicken breasts on sale, etc. During this time, especially, it won’t help to get sick on top of the depression. Just saying I feel better physically which helps out mentally as well. Not advising anyone; just what is helping me some.
Storm and tornado warning out. Got to go. Later.
Hello everyone!
It’s been 3 months since I’ve written on here! I am still desperately seeking for work and have been unemployed for 3 months!!!
I was an Audit Professional of about 3-4 years of experience in public accounting. Got my degree from a very prestigious univeristy in Accounting and Finance with an above average GPA.
I am the kind of person who would go the extra mile to help someone out at the office whether it’s my peers or bosses. I take pride in my work. I would do anything and everything to accomplish a task and it shows in my work and evaluations. I have strong work ethics and that is what I persent myself as.
I have been working with so many recruiters and have gone on a handful of interviews but so far no offer for various reasons.
The first time when I was laid off for the whole week I thought about suicide. I am in my mid 20s but I have so many obligations. I have been supporting my disable mother since I was 13 years old earning min. wage working at a sweat shop supermarket where I got paid in cash. I worked to put myself through college and earned 2 degrees from a good school, not to mention a pretty darn good GPA! The 3 things I am most proud of myself is wearing the pant in the family and brining home the bacon to feed mommy and little sis while dad was out of the picture; the second thing is my education; and thirdly my career! Now one of the most imporant things have been taken away from me. How does that make feel??? Like S*! Without money, you can’t survive! Freedom and all the bullshit in this country is not really free anyway! I have rent to pay, car payment, groceries to buy, utilities, credit card bills etc. It adds up. Little sis is still in college but is working to help me out. But it’s still not enough. I was able to save when I was working, now I am scratching my A*! I am living on the edge. I am just exahusted and drained from all this. People say to be optimistic and hopeful. But hey, I am only human. I have other feelings too. Even the stongest person have weaknesses. My point is, I am stresed and tired of trying to stay hopeful and do everything in my power, humanly possible, and still no good outcome. It gets old after a while.
I am better now. But there were times when I thought about suicide. I thought about blowing all my savings on vacations, materials, etc. you name it! I’ve thought about maxing out all my credit cards on whatever I like. I’ve thought about prostitution, stripping, selling drugs, etc. After all, I am going to be dead anyway! Everything I have worked for and believed in have been takend away from me. My last boyfriend broke my heart! What else can go wrong? No money, no career, no love, etc. I don’t even have health or dental insurance because I can’t afford it. Some days I would eat instant noodles for lunch and dinner for a week, but I would buy good food for mommy. 🙂 I guess the good thing that comes out of this is that I am a good person and I put my mother’s needs before mine. But how can I trurly care for someone if I am not happy with myself?
I envy all the rich people with wealthy families. I envy all the young girls like me that are married to rich guys who treat them well. Not that I didn’t have men treat me well; it’s just that I don’t ever last with any of them. Anyway, I am going off the tangent here….
I am so desperate for having a career again. In the mean time, I am studying for the CPA exam but I don’t even have money to take the review courses. I can only afford to purchase materials online!!! Life is so sad. If I was 90 years old then i probably would not be as concerend…but I am still young so I feel like there is still a chance. However, I am losing hope.
Dear Depressed, lost, and concerned,
First of all, apply for unemployment, and food stamps. With your disabled mother, she should be getting Medicaid or Medicare and/or SSI benefits. Also, her insurance should pay for home health aids to come in and feed, bathe her and to give you a break.
Second, it’s only been a few months. I’ve been unemployed for a year now. It’s a tough economy so don’t blame yourself!
Third, hang out with those who support you and encourage you.
Fourth, since your sister is in college, her financial aid should help with most of her financial needs. But I’m glad she is trying to help you out also.
Fifth, when you’re ready, consider working part-time, anywhere, or volunteer somewhere. Do gardening. Take walks. Do something fun and meaningful at least once a week.
Dear Dana,
Thanks for your post. I’m doing better. I’m volunteering at least twice a week. And I do odd jobs for friends and neighbors.
As far as the pdoc meds, I checked with the local pdoc center, and it’s over $200 for a first time evaluation, and $70 for follow up visits; no sliding scales are permitted anywhere here. So far, the fish oil and B-complex are helping. So far, so good.
I need bifocals now, and discovered without insurance they would be close to $400; I’ve never paid that much for anything when I had insurance!
If I start going down hill, I may consider SSD. Thanks for your support! 🙂
Dear Depressed, lost, and concerned,
I hope you found comfort in the suggestions that SMoriah provided… here are a couple more…
Sixth… Check with your state unemployment councilors – you may be able to get a seat in in a CPA review course at a state university for free… here in Washington State they have a program for funding classes, review courses, and tests for the unemployed.
Seventh… Go to all of the local tax prep places and apply… my mom is a retired nurse and works most years for a local chain… it doesn’t pay much, but it gets her out of the house and helping her fellow senior citizens.
Eighth… get your profile up on LinkedIn and look in the groups section for accounting and general job search groups in your area. Reguardless of your gender check to see if there is a DigitalEve group in your area…. they have LinkedIn and Yahoo! discussion groups for online / technical folks, but we have several accountants and finance types in our Seattle group. Many are starting Face 2 Face support groups for job seekers.
Nineth… Join twitter and post an ask @jobangels, search for recruiters in your area or companies you are interested in that post jobs.
Tenth… the boyfriend… I can tell you from personal experience that you will look back at that breakup as a great thing… I used to ‘settle’ for men that were interested in me… no matter the ‘shortcoming’… which translates into some that had violent tempers and others that were hopeless slugs… I now have a great husband who is supportive of everything I have done… it has been a long long road…
Search for my first name in the comments and you will come across my first post that outlines my 2 bouts of unemployment story… lost.. .alone… hopeless…
I how have a wonderful husband who has allowed me to chase my career to the end of the continent.. we started in Connecticut in 2001… and here it is 2009 and we are in Seattle… he doesn’t want me to look for work in Alaska or Hawaii though :-).
It does get easier… you are very not alone… your credit may be shot… you will have a gap on your resume… but you will not stand out in the employement seeking crowd…
the stigma of being unemployed and looking is starting to fade… recruiters are more matter of fact about it than they were 6 months ago…. let alone what things were like 16 months ago when this post was written.
Hugs!
Nancy
I have not been working since past one and half month. I can say there has not been a single day when I did not apply for jobs. I called several recruiters they all asked me to send my resume which I did but never heard anything back. I worked in collection and account receivable department, I have a Masters Degree in Commerce but somehow cant get anything. I feel hopeless, im not taking care of myself and sometimes feel like ending my life. I use to have a routine would go to work, exercise but now everything is gone can someone help me..
Down on My Knees,
Seek some help if you’re able; go to doc if you can. I hear your pain. As someone here said: No job is worth your Life.
I think the routine thing is the hardest; it threw me for a long time and still does. We all do better with some structure. You have to make a new routine. I wrote out a weekly schedule, alternating hours of job search with daily living. It helped. I’ve been unemployed, except for my part time job, for almost a year now. I still don’t have it all down and I still struggle. You have to take care of yourself FIRST, something I’m still trying to learn. But, if you’re having suicidal feelings, and I think everyone here HAS, at some point, please go to the doctor or seek some help. It’s hard to take care of yourself when you feel hopeless.
Don’t give up. It’s been, what, six weeks. It sounds like you’re doing the right things; follow up with the recruiters and keep plugging. Try to make your resume stick out; I keep revising mine. lol
I don’t know if I’ve helped any, but maybe it will help to know you’re not alone. Post…it has helped me to be here and I’ve learned from others here.
Hi Smoriah!
Glad to hear the fish oil and B complex is working!!!!!!!!
Great advice Linda- thanks for sharing your job search survival tips.
There is hope!
Thanks Linda it means a lot, Im trying to get my life back together, I will have to change my routine cos I feel ive hit rock bottom and I can only go up…
Dear Knees,
Please take a look at Flylady.net… it may seem odd, misplaced, or even flat out wrong the first time you read through the material…
But waking up to a clean sink and getting dressed in the morning really really really can get you started on the road to a routine that works for you.
Fly Baby Steps Rock!
Sharing my feelings with you all makes me feel better. I always think that even if I follow a routine and try to live a better life I will still feel the emptiness inside me. I guess its something Il have to live with. I walk in the city and look at people working and it shows on their face that they are so happy, I ask myself when will I be one of them. I somehow cant stop asking this to myself.. Being unemployed has also made me realize that some people will always try to judge you, no matter how much efforts you put in it hurts and time and again they want you to know that they are better than you..
Well, Down on my Knees, as we can attest to, umemployment can happen to anybody in these times. If people judge, then let them. That is their problem. I say never say never ’cause it CAN happen to you and I believe what goes around comes around. Forget them and concentrate on you. I felt ashamed for a long time but that has passed thankfully. I’m more into the things I can do to survive now. It’s not your fault so don’t blame yourself. We, myself included, tend to believe we ARE our jobs but we aren’t. A job is just what we do not WHO we are.
Your perception of people you see working who look so happy: it’s your perception but it may not be necessarily so. I’ve been in miserable jobs but I still put on a smile. LOL
Nancy B.: I believe in what you’re saying. Start small but it adds up and even the small things give a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, something we NEED at this time in our lives!
I don’t have all the answers. If I did I wouldn’t have time to post here; I’d have a full-time job instead of a part-time one. I’m still stuggling day to day. My sister reminds me that it’s been almost a year and I wonder why does she feel she has to do that? Like, I don’t know? She says she wouldn’t be taking it as well as I do. Is that a slam? lol I let it go ’cause I figure no one knows until they’ve been in MY shoes. While I’m living in my sister’s house I’m contributing. I’m paying half the mortgage, bringing food in. I cook and clean; I never leave a dish in the sink….lol I’m grateful to have a place to stay and live right now. My goal is to make the best of the position I’m in right now until I get a better opportunity and I keep telling myself that this is only temporary. Stuff is just stuff.
They say misery likes company and it has indeed been a comfort reading everyone’s comments. Next week commemorates my 9th month of unemployment and yesterday I truly hit a wall of frustruation and despair. But I managed to cry it out of my system and dust myself off and this morning, believe it or not, I found a referral for a p/t job and have an interview tomorrow. Go figure!
This layoff is my second one in 11 months and I have found that the way to survive has been regular exercise, frequent contact with family and friends, networking (I have met so many people as a result of my job search!) visiting the library several times a week (I am an avid reader of fiction, bios, self-help, job hunting and entrepreneur books) and taking lots of deep breaths. It’s not easy and I’m giving it one more month before I have to pack up my apartment and move in with family. But I am a survivor. I also had a layoff in 2001 in which I decided to sell all my possessions and return to graduate school (it was a such a welcome break from job hunting).
The lessons I have learned from this experience is that job hunting is so much harder these days, employers are more demanding and unreasonably selective and work is merely a 4-letter word – which should not define you. We are all warriors in this battle and you just have to keep your sword swinging until there is victory. And perhaps there is some justice knowing that many of those employers who didn’t respond to your job inquiry, your application, your email, your voice mail or your request for information are most likely out of a job as well (or soon to be).
I have some materials that I’ve created as a result of my 6.5 iterations thru “transition”. Everyone is welcome to “steal” anything they feel is worthwhile.
I’ve created a moodle course for it. I have half an idea of running a free course on it.
https://www.blunderingalong.com/moodle
Use the guest code “jibberjobber” to take a look at it.
If I had ten people interested, I’d be happy to run the 15 week scheme. It would be more of a symposium, group effort, or whatever you’d like to call it. And, we work it as a participating class of fellow wolves. If it is found beneficial, we can extend it to others. I figure it would be like a weekly conference call for 10 people 10 minutes = 100 minutes, 10 to set up, and 10 to wrap up. Two hour Skype conference for 2 hours. With reading and written assignments to be developed.
Line in the sand!
By 1159 EDT on Monday 16 March 2009!
Need ten names (Limit ten! First come first serve!)
(1) Fjohn Reinke — the big fat old turkey hisself
(2)Chris Brown
(3) H.I. Chavez
(4) John Hayden
(5)
(6)
(7)
(8)
(9)
(10)
We’ll do once “lesson” per week. No charge. One mandatory SKYPE or some other free web conference for an hour? And, we’ll develop it as we go. All participants will get my thanks. And, maybe we might all learn something together.
fjohn
the big fat old turkey hisself
I re-read the author’s inital story- it is still fabulous as to its content.
If one does not find employment within the 6 mo employment , plus as in today’s world of extentions- thanks goodness – it has turned to pure madness.
I am a college grad who does not even have a job title and I feel horrible as if I am starting my life at a horrible point in time. I am hard working but am also screwed. I do not know what to do and reading this does not help…I apologize and wish to say it was well written but I need a damn job. I read a lot of stuff and kudos to you sir. I and many others need to do something about this…march towards the white house anyone?
This is the unspoken part of unemployment. When you are working for a company for a long period of time, the people you work with do become part of your extended family, so loosing you job is also like loosing parts of your family. It is a double whammy to some, especially if you don’t have a large support system outside of work, or single, are older, or have a small family. The lack of people to share the simple daily things in life compounded with the loss of income, things to fill up your day, and the demoralizing way in which you find yourself having to change your entire life lead to some serious depression. Many of the people left at your job feel guilty that you were let go and not them and don’t call you, and the few that do, are usually ones that feel they are next in line to go. It’s very scary out there, and I know there are few people to network with that are in the industry I came from, as most of them have retired or left for other industry’s. What’s left of my family doesn’t understand, as they are in untouchable jobs, and think that every interview will lead to a job. In three months, there have only been 2, and no, they have not turned into jobs, and then you start to go through the what did I do wrong, what did I say wrong, and you get more depressed. It’s really a catch 22.
So I am NOT alone. I’ve been out of work since 10/29/08 and actively searching for employment since mid-january 2009. Job searching sure has changed in 20 years. I am not quite at the depression stage yet, but I can see it coming. Agencies dont want you to just “drop In” for intial appts or followups. I can count on two hands (and not all the fingers) how many temp agencies I’ve seen, and so far not one real interview or job. Its ONLY A TEMP JOB…WHY DO I NEED A COLLEGE DEGREE?
I’m on twitter, linkedin, meetup………..been to one job fair (not a good experience), signed up for at least 3 job fairs in NYC between now and August. Going to a meeting Wed 3/25 sponsored by The 405 Club (405 being the max you can collect on unemployment in NY State).
I am at my wits end re job searching. Spending 3-7 hours a day in some capacity searching. I swore I would not do this on the weekends – to take a sanity break. But when i leave the computer ON, I find my self going back on the weekends. So now I’ve started to (weekends only), get on computer, do what I have to, then TURN IT OFF.
I can only do what I can do. I think I am really more stressed than I am allowing myself to think about – I have to get a better sense of what I CAN do……what I NEED to do……I’ll Wash NYC buses if I have to (for the right money) and I will do a damn good job of it.
Lastly….I am older……….why to agencies assume (and I am sure they do) that I will retire soon. I want to WORK, I NEED TO WORK……………Why cant they have respect for experienced, dedicated workers with superior work ethic.
It’s been a while since I posted. I had thought things had finally turned around for me, but I was mistaken. Just to give you the thumbnail recap: we moved to TX in Nov. 2005 following my layoff and the impending closure of my husban’d company. We sold our house in CA before we could lose it and settled in TX. Unfortunately we still had to work and still had a load of debt so we needed to find work quickly. After much temping I fianlly landed a job in March 2006, I was excited and thrilled. (By the way, I’m 44 and have been an Exec admin since 18.) The job only lasted until July, they weren’t ready for an employee, nor one with my skills so they laid me off. In August 2006 I managed to land another job, taking whatever was offered in my salary range. I was bored in 3 months, but stayed anyway. Went on 3 month medical leave at almost one year of employment. They begged me to come back and I returned in Nov. 2007.
By March 2008 I was told that I should begin to look for other employment. I wasn’t willing to quit and they really didn’t want to lay me off so they offered to allow me to look and take paid time off for interviews. No time frame was set. First Friday in May I was told my employment would end on May 31.
I interviewed like a fool, but never even got a temp offer until the end of September. I don’t understand the need to interview 3x for a temp position, makes no sense and is a waste of my time and effort, but I did it anyway. I had already exhausted my unemployment benefits so I needed to be employed quickly.
In August 2008 I accepted a full time offer at a huge salary cut. After the cost of benefits was deducted, it was a $10K pay cut. Being the primary financial support for my family – that was huge. On Friday, Feb 13 2009 I was laid off again. No reason, just told thanks, but no thanks five minutes after I arrived for work.
I’m still unemployed, no unemployment, have had two interviews, no temp offers. I have applied for Wal Mart, grocery stores and jobs that will end up being a $30K pay cut. I’m willing to do anything, biut so are thousands of other people. I keep hearing that I’m overqualified and I don’t live close enough. I actually had an executive tell me I was the best person for the job, but he was afraid I wouldn’t like the drive to his office so he wouldn’t hire me. WTF? Isn’t that my decision? I knew where the job was and what the salary was before I applied.
I can afford to take a $30K salary cut, but I can’t afford not to. I need the income in order to save my house and manage to make the Bankruptcy payments (yes, we filed in November). I’ve found myself spending hours submitting resumes, but I rarely get dressed. I know it’s the fringes of depression, but I don’t feel like fighting it.
I just need to get back to work – at any level – and I’m tired of people not allowing me to make my own decisions.
Oops, small grammatical error. I meant to say…
I CAN’T afford to take a $30K salary cut, but I can’t afford not to. I need the income in order to save my house and manage to make the Bankruptcy payments (yes, we filed in November). I’ve found myself spending hours submitting resumes, but I rarely get dressed. I know it’s the fringes of depression, but I don’t feel like fighting it.
I can manage on a $20,000 pay cut, but just barely. IF I WERE EVEN OFFERED THAT. At this point, only two month in to searching, I am better off than post….but I worry….a lot…..dont kid yourself, older workers like me ARE discriminated again. You want into an agency, they take one look, then you never hear from them agency, or you ask if you can drop in to check up in a couple of weeks and they basically say dont bother (“We are busy, call or email”).
Cynthia, one thing I found (though I admit I am NOT doing it today) is to keep a routine. Get up, shower, get dressed (jeans ok)….Spend a certain amount of time each day job-search-related, no matter how hard it is. I now have a list of about 80 placed/agencies….on sites like Monster I signed up for job alerts……I spend 3-7 hours a day in some job search function.
I admit that I might be getting slightly depressed. I am SO AFRAID of not having the money. And I cant figure out what to do with my 401k from my former company. Someone who shall remain nameless is “advising” me re this (this person obviously wants my business, but i cant afford to pay 1-2% commissions….I am sorely tempted to move my 401k into a rollover ira/cd in a bank. Not nearly the interest, but at least what I do have NOW will be protected (up to $250,000 with FDIC insurance.
I’ve said it before but it bear repeating: WHEN WILL AGENCIES/COMPANIES REALIZE THE VALUE OF OLDER WORKERS? We dont ALL want to retire (at this point I am exhausted from working all these years, but I have no choice BUT to keep working. EMPLOYERS PLS LISTEN: I WILL DO A GREAT JOB FOR YOU AND HAVE A BETTER WORK ETHIC THAN ALMOST ANYONE ELSE YOU WILL FIND.
Karen and Cynthia: Amen to all that you’ve said!
Before I HAD to move in with my sister, I could have a ‘down day’ if I wanted but now I have no privacy. I deal with the monster, depression, but I can’t show it. I do all I’m supposed to do but with kind of half a heart if you know what I mean.
It sounds like you both are doing all you can. All we can do is keep plugging!
Quick comment on what Karen said regarding her 401k:
>> And I cant figure out what to do with my 401k from my former company. ….I am sorely tempted to move my 401k into a rollover ira/cd in a bank. Not nearly the interest,
Many people don’t know that I used my 401k to help finance my company (JibberJobber). When my investment adviser understood my needs, he moved all from a mutual fund type place to a much more conservative place (bonds?). It saved me from losing a ton of money… and i was really grateful that he did that. I’m not saying you should do that now, but my adviser was right on the money (no pun intended)…
It sucks to see people lose 30 – 50% in their retirement because of the market… 🙁
Anyway, just a quick thought. I think of you guys often as I see these comments come through, and let me extend a heartfelt THANK YOU for being such a great support group for one another!
Great blog. Having never been unemployed in 31 years. I am an insurance claims director that managed a staff of 10+. I’m not a job hopper but one year ago a competitor contacted me to head up a new New York office. They wined and dined me and I left my old job. Only a year later my new company was purchased by a company from UK. They did away with my office and my job. I am on my second week of unemployment. I’m feeling worried, depressed, trapped and hopeless. I’m applying for entry level jobs that I am over qualified for, and even those are not replying to me. Half my resumes come back with spam come-ons to sell me something. I purchased a new condo two years ago and my savings was used up. I have a month of severance and unemployment will not even cover my mortgage. I’m feeling worthless and useless. I am actively seeking a job, but find myself having frequent anxiety attacks. I’m not a big drinker, but I’m thinking about having cocktails on a daily basis. I never thought I’d be in this position. Thank you for this blog. Already I’m feeling better.
My situation hasnt changed since my last post in March. Increasingly more difficult to even get to an agency. I’ve only had one job interview (didnt work out). And I am resorting to going to agencies I know cant help me (walking in), to meet the unemployment requirements (I am scrupulously honest about keeping track of what I do for job searching. With all the physical ailments I’ve had lately, rereading some of these posts and taking a few VERY UNSCIENTIFIC test, I think I do have a moderate case of depression. Dont sleep at night, starting to sleep more during day…..I have to get back into the job search routine….
Marye, I dont even know what to say. I wish I could do/say something to make it better for you. You are NOT worthless and useless. You are new into the unemployment ranks……It takes a LONG time to find work. I think the first thing you need to do is deal with the mortgage issue. Talk to the bank….perhaps they have some sort of special programs for unemployed. You might have to consider selling the condo and downsizing….Its very important to keep a routine: get up in the morning, shower, dress, and do something for job searching….even a few hours a day, every day. Make a spreadsheet, keep track of what you do….all the contacts you make. If you are not already on LinkedIn, that’s a good site to do business (and some social) contacts. Facebook is more social.
I think I understand the anxiety attacks. I have a problem with heart racing. From 68 to 150 in a split second…yet despite all the tests…..nothing shows up (that’s good). I went to the dr with a LIST, and the first thing she said “we cant possibly get thru that list in one visit”….Time for a new Dr? I am losing interest…….it is a bit demoralizing to be “rejected” (agencies dont respond to emails, or you get a “dont call us, we’ll call you” emails). None of the agencies want walk-ins, but I’m gonna have to start doing that….
Marye, also consider JOB FAIRS. Its gets you out, talking to people…talking about YOURSELF….I personally dont think people REALLY get jobs from the job fairs…but its the “talking” that helps.
Also consider trying to find some sort of support group. I cant find one here (NYC)……maybe I have to look harder! I will keep you in my thoughts.
Karen,
Thank you for your words of wisdom. I know I’m in panic mode since they layoff just occurred (2 weeks ago). They say that you go through 12 emotional periods when you are laid off. Sort of what happens when you lose someone). Fear, panic, worry, anger, anxiety, manic-behavior, depression, empathy, joy when a lead occurs, loneliness, you can insert a few others here.
Karen, you do have a moderate case of depression. It is very understandable! The insomnia and the sleeping during the day. I’m constantly scanning classifieds, monster.com, careerbuilder and every other job hunt source imaginable. I’m spending at least three hours a day in my search. I don’t want to lose my home. Yes I’ve joined LinkedIn and hooked up with three insurance personnel recruiters. I have had two call backs and a few emails.
I will try the job fairs. I’m not too hopeful with these. The one I went to was all about entry level positions not management and most of them were trying to sell us their services.
Right now New York unemployment is 405 a week. It won’t cover my mortgage but I have some severance (a month) and I’m going to have to use my savings which I am prepared to do. My cousin is a mortgage banker and when and if the time comes there are many emergency programs that can help.
Karen what kind of work do you do? Where are you located? I’m on Long Island, NY and am a insurance professional. Some industries are suffering more than others.
We should find out if there’s a way to send private messages (PMs). YOu dont want too much information “out there. Right now there doesnt seem to be a way to PM……Maybe if you or I contact Jason Alba (I’ve met him before – nice guy) he will have a solutio.
Dont panic…it hasnt been that long since you were laid off. Dont make yourself crazy……Do some job searching each day, but leave some “ME TIME”.
The job fairs are good practice just for TALKING to people. And I dont necessarily mean just the recruiters. The people who attend the fairs. Have some business cards made up – I think you can get 250 cards for free on VISTAPRINT and the shipping is about $10. or do what I did and make up cards on your computer (with the paper you need – actually the VISTAPRINT ends up cheaper for 250 cards.
The max unemployment is 405, but there’s an extra $25 too…..so in effect the max is $430.
Talk to your cousin NOW. A lot of the emergency programs dont kick in til you’re behind a couple of months.
Do consider taking a temp job out of your comfort zone. I know I will have to do that. I am prepared to do that.
I’m an admin assistant – live in Queens NY…….
If you are both on LinkedIn there is a JibberJobber group that is less ‘open’ than this blog where people have discussed job search strategies in the past.
I would be happy to start a depression thread there and ya’ll could ‘meet’ that way.
If you are not familiar with LinkedIn you can send direct messages to people you are connected directly. with.
Well I have an interview next friday for a desk-job, non-managerial for an old competitor PRI, physicians recipr. insur. company they are offering $58K, ($40K less than what I was making) with a pretty much take it or leave it. What choice do I have I’ll go next week (Friday the 24th) and keep you posted.
Marye, you ALWAYS have a choice. I am not so concerned with the salary (it will be an adjustment for you), but with their “take it or leave it” attitude. Go to the interview and see what happens. If they offer you the position on the spot, dont necessarily jump on it. Ask if you may have 24 hours to make this decision (it is important).
You are actually doing better than most. To be on unemployment for such a short time and have a possible job – that’s great. Even if it doesnt work out…..the Interview experience is excellent.
It seems like you already know about this company – the good, the bad (?). You might want to think about what questions to ask them.
I wish you a lot of good luck!
Marye,
They probably won’t offer the job if they know your old salary. I’m running into problems with people asking my old salary and then not ever contacting me after I tell them. They don’t want to offer me something that they think I will be unhappy with and then they think I will leave once something better comes along. Recruiters are horrible for having this mentality. They keep asking me my old salary or asking salary without telling me what the job pays. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
If someone offered me $58K right now, I would jump on it like a lion on a medium rare steak even though it would be a $20K pay cut.
Also, I was in IT and it seems like things have really changed. Salary’s are way down and the market seems flooded with young people who have bunches of IT certifications and no experience. They are the ones getting the jobs, but at what my old company paid the secretaries.
I have been out since December, and although I have been called for interviews, as soon as they realize I am way older then they think, the interviews go downhill. I do everything they tell you in the seminars to turn it around and make it positive, but the companies in my “past” and that is the only way to refer to it at this point, industry, are so age discriminatory it’s ridiculous. I can think back to when my bosses told me not to hire anyone over a certain age. So, why would I think it isn’t being done with me?. I didn’t like it then, when I found someone qualified, that is who I wanted, but that is not how they think. That may well be one of the reasons for this economic disaster we are facing, people with no experience running companies!! How can you base the future with no history of the past, isn’t that what they teach you in the most basic of History classes? You have to know history to not repeat the mistakes? If you have no business History, what do you base your decisions on?
Oh well, on to re-inventing myself.
Bluebear, I completely understand your point of view. I KNOW its “the age thing” with me. I almost could understand if I were looking for permanent work, but I’m trying to work TEMP. What do they think…that I’m too set in my ways to change? NOT TRUE. No one is more adaptable than I am. I’m even willing to wash city buses, if that’s what it takes (and I would to a damn good job – better than most).
Next week it will be six months that I’m out of work. I am SO losing interest in searching….so I need to get back on track…its discouraging and demoralizing to think you are not worth enough for someone to hire you. They just dont know what they’re missing…….
Notworking…good point about the salary, but if an agency interviewer ASKS, I will tell them, but also explain that I dont expect to get that salary. I know what I need to meet my expenses and have a bit of pocket money……..
I would REALLY prefer if THIS BOARD were more private……..that only “members” could read/post.
Hey people, again, thank you for supporting one another, I’m humbled by your generosity!
I wrote a followup post to this post called “Dealing with job search depression“… perhaps you have things to add to my suggestions?
Hi Everyone. The interview last Friday 4/24/09 went very well. It took over two and a half hours and I spoke to HR and the VP of claims. This looks promising despite the hefty pay decrease and as I mentioned previously, please everyone keep your fingers crossed. I have another promising interview tomarrow with a large company, a salary closer to my last and geographically closer although the one last week is only 20 miles away. Thanks for your warm wishes and emails. Jason Alba you are inspirational! I mean it! Do you make house calls, lol?
Depression DOES cloud everything. Your insights have gotten us all up and aboutl.
I’ve been unemployed for the last three months. One thing that helped me was that I was aware of the company culture of indifference towards subordinates and that when the going got tough, they’d either toss people out on the street or make them so miserable that they’d toss themselves. When my stress level and blood pressure and peace of mind became unmanageable while working for my former employer, I left. I just couldn’t take the crap anymore and respect myself. Although I’ve had three interviews, I haven’t been able to “close the deal” on a new full-time permanent position, or even a temp job. I keep myself busy with volunteer work, networking, exercising, finishing projects I didn’t have time (or energy) to do while I was working, and searching for more work. I like meeting people and keeping my skills sharp with volunteer work. I’m really hoping something comes through for me soon. While I enjoy volunteering, I really do need an income to buy the basics and keep a roof over my head. I’m going to keep holding my head up. I’m going to keep trying.